Want your virtual meetings to feel easier? Turn off your self-view

I’ve been meaning to write this for at least a few months, and this morning I thought to myself, I must get this out into the world. That sounds slightly like a crusader vibe, but so be it – I’m here for self-kindness and ease in life.

So here is a gift on how to make your working life easier, if you spend any portion of your week on video calls, and you don’t already know about this or do this.

The TLDR is: you can hide yourself from your video calls, so that you don’t see yourself.

And life will feel instantly so much better. Ok, I can’t guarantee this part, but it has been the case for me and many others I share this with.

This isn’t turning your camera off; the goal is still to still be visible to other people in video calls (although if you want to turn your camera off, then that’s another thing and maybe one for another post). This is about turning off the view of yourself so that you don’t have to look at yourself in video calls.

Let’s call it: turning off your self-view.

Why turn off your self-view?

1)        It’s unnatural to see yourself in your calls. Imagine going into a physical meeting room, and you’ve got everyone else sitting there in the meeting. There’s Misha from Finance, Eli from Marketing, Corrina from Strategy, you’re there representing your team. And then you’ve got your body double sitting there, too. It’d be weird, right?

And, by the way, it’s normal to look at ourselves when we see ourselves. When you walk past a mirror, or a shop window, our gaze can be drawn to see how we look. Often it’s about knowing we’re safe, or that we belong, that we’re ok. So it’s normal that when we see ourselves in our video calls, we look at ourselves. I just believe it’s unhelpful to have that extra input in seeing ourselves.

Kind of like how it’s usually not that helpful when I’m at the back of a complicated dance class, showing that I can’t follow a choreographed routine, to be seeing myself in the mirror, confused at the back of the dance class, going left when everyone else is going right.

2)        We often judge ourselves harshly when we see ourselves. In calls, when you have your self-view video on, are you looking at yourself thinking, “Did you see the energy and inspiration I was giving out as I described our Q1 forecast?!”

No - often we’re thinking, “Oh my god, is that what my face really looks like?”

“Do I always have that weird wrinkle above my right eye when I disagree with someone?”

“What is going on with my hair?”

Please! You’re amazing and beautiful! Stop making it harder on yourself than it already is to be a human with a body in this often unforgiving and crazy world.

3)        When you’re lost in your thoughts, appraisals, critiques, and judgment of yourself, and your eyes keep blinking over to look at yourself, you’re not in connection with other people.

Why this might feel scary if you’re used to seeing yourself

I share this tip with many of my clients when we’re talking about the challenges of their days that are laden with virtual meetings, and I sometimes get a few objections:

·      “What if I make a face? I’d rather see myself make a face.”  I gently reply, “What if you do make a face? What will happen?” Honestly, I think the answer is that either nobody will notice, or they will notice, and they can get curious about the emotion in your facial expression. You could even say, “Hey, I notice I had a reaction to that idea. Can we talk about it?” Or you work on managing your facial expressions if you’re really worried about it. But personally, I say, let your face do its face thing, and take away the extra stress of you trying to manage your reaction to your reaction. Let yourself feel and manage that on its own without the extra work of monitoring.

·      “What if I have the camera aimed away from me, or I’ve gone blurry?” Give people permission to let you know. “Hey, I’m testing out not having my own self-view on anymore. Can one of you please tell me if you’re not seeing the top half of my face, or I go out of focus?”

·      “What if…?” There are often other “what-if’s”, as there sometimes are when we become used to something, and someone suggests a change. I say, would you like to try it for a week and see how it goes, and if you feel worse, then just turn it back on.

Benefits of turning off self-view 

I’ve come to see it as unkind to myself and everyone else to have my self-view on in video calls.  When I have it turned off, I:

·      am in better connection with the person or people I’m talking to. My focus is on THEM, not me.

·      am in better relationship with myself. I’m just being me, without the extra judgment that comes with seeing myself.

·      feel like the video call is a more realistic experience of what would happen in a physical room.

Are you in? Let’s do this…

Turning off self-view

Here’s how you currently turn off your self-view, across the various platforms that I’m familiar with (from a computer, not phone)*.

Microsoft Teams: as far as I’m aware this is available in the client version only (not when you join via a browser). On your picture, which often appears initially in the bottom right corner, click on the 3 dots and select “Hide me” – voilà, you’re still there, just not visible to you.

Webex: to the right of Start Video there is a little v; click that and then go to Video Settings/Self-view in meetings. From there, you can choose the radio button for “Hide”.

Zoom: On your picture, click the 3 dots in the top right blue corner of your picture, and from the menu options, select “Hide self view”

Just in case - turning on self-view

If by chance, you want to get the view of yourself back – temporarily or to have it on as you join a call to check your position in the frame, for instance - here’s how you do that:

Microsoft Teams: Click on View in the menu bar, and then click More Options/Unhide me

Webex: Go to Video Settings and choose the radio button of “Show with others” or “Show in floating window”

Zoom: Click on the 3 white dots in the blue in the top right corner of someone else’s picture, and from the menu options, select “Show self view”

*Please note that the tech changes, so this is up-to-date as of 24 Nov, 2025. I hope it’s mostly accurate but can’t guarantee it will always be like this. Are there others I’ve missed that you want mentioned here? Let me know and I’ll add them.

In summary, go for it!

I’d love for working life to be easier for as many people as possible, so please share this if it’s been helpful and if you think others would benefit. I’m surprised and amazed that so many people don’t know it’s an option to turn off the self-view, so let’s spread the word, and maybe this one aspect of virtual meetings could be a little better.

And of course, if for whatever reason this is not a good option for you and your circumstances, please ignore me. I’d love to hear more to learn as well about any differing views (ooh, a pun!), so please share your thoughts.  Have you done this, and what’s the impact been?